a-Lenten-prayer-a-day, day 8, Thursday, March 9, 2017

Note: As a personal, spiritual discipline, I write a prayer for each of the forty days of Lent; each petition focusing on a theme, truly, relating to a care or concern weighing on my mind and heart, at times, vexing my soul and spirit…

On thinking too much: Sometimes (all the time?), Lord, I think too much about the world, about my self; sometimes thinking that if I think long and hard enough, I will, I can resolve – or, at least (at last?), catch a glimpse of an answer to – the questions of life and the riddles of my self that roil my soul and keep me restless and awake at night. Yet, the more I think (Ha! My dear Lord, I see the irony of thinking more about thinking too much!), I have come to this discernment for today: Too much thought without end is wearying; falling short of even Sisyphean success, for I never seem to get very far, oft unable to roll the stone of my wondering, my worrying beyond the bottom of the hill of my daily wrestling.[1] Hence, I become a martyr, slain by the barbs of my ceaseless inquisition, my interrogation without end of my self. Today, if but for an instant, I pray that You quiet the noise of my inner censorious chorus that I, listening only for the “sound of sheer silence”, ever the pacific introit to Your coming,[2] may know again the wisdom of trusting and resting in Your Love. Amen.

Footnotes:

[1] I refer to Sisyphus of Greek mythology, who, punished by Zeus for treachery, was forced endlessly, eternally to push a great stone up a hill only to have it roll down, calling him to repeat the action. Truly, the term “Sisyphean” is a metaphor applying to any labor that is time-and-energy-extensive-and-intensive and futile.

[2] See I Kings 19.11-13 (my emphasis): (The word of the Lord came to Elijah, saying) “Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”