a-Lenten-prayer-a-day, day 2, Thursday, March 2, 2017

my-hands-2-27-17 Note: As a personal, spiritual discipline, I write a prayer for each of the forty days of Lent; each petition focusing on a theme, truly, relating to a care or concern weighing on my mind and heart, at times, vexing my soul and spirit…

On self-knowledge, self-loathing, & self-love: O my Lord, I oft fancy that one day soon, if but for an instant, I might love my self. Yet, thus far in my living, I find myself daily paying this great cost of self-knowledge: being too aware of my failings, too wary of my flaws, I cannot love my self without condition (without, at best, saying, sometimes with sorrow’s murmur, sometimes with revulsion’s bellow, “If only I had not done [this or that], none of which I can forget and if only I was not [this or that], none of whom I can forsake, I might attempt my self to love!”). Yet, my Lord, Your Word teaches me that You, as Love, loved me first – and not first and once, but first and always, yea, first and forever – that I might love.[1] Thus, I pray that I, by Your Spirit, may continue to know my lack, though not that I may cling more grievously to my despair, but rather that I may cleave all the more joyously to You, to Love. Amen.

Footnote: [1] See 1 John 4.16b-19

3 thoughts on “a-Lenten-prayer-a-day, day 2, Thursday, March 2, 2017

  1. Wow Paul, “loved me first and always”….Isn’t it amazing that we can go from self-loathing to self-love and vice-versa in a second? One unexpected thing can trigger it and we have to work hard to get back to self-love. I will focus on holding tight to love!! I focus on joy each day and even have a presentation about it, but some days the self-love is hard to maintain!!

    Much love!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yea, amen, I say, amen to “Isn’t it amazing that we can go from self-loathing to self-love and vice-versa in a second?” I have a line in my coming sermon for this Sunday that echoes this reality of our living of which you speak. Were you in my head or looking over my shoulder as I was writing? Love

      Liked by 1 person

      • YES I was looking over your shoulder as you were looking over my when I set my Lenten goal to be more prayerful like you this Lent!! Then your Lenten Prayers series came up!! Doesn’t get much better than that!! Love

        Liked by 1 person

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